Stomping my feet and pouting like a bitch #1

OK so what. I had my heart set on the venue. The venue we have been trying to sign a contract with since week two of the engagement. The venue person kept putting us off and putting us off. Well this past Monday we finally had an appointment to go sign the contract and go over details. Well 7 am Monday morning the woman called and cancelled. RAWR! I was pissed. Today she finally responded to my email about re-scheduling and said we need to wait until Nov, 5 to see where they stand with current negotiations with the landlord and the parking situation. She also said she may not event be there next year. WHAT THE FUCK! YES I said fuck. I am not even remotely ok with this. The venue is the ONLY venue in the area that has everything we want, in our budget, and once again has every thing we want. When I think of the wedding in terms of decor everything I envisioned fits this f'n venue. NO WHERE ELSE! I am not being a infant either. I know venues in this stupid area. I know what I/we want and there just in nothing else. One other venue has a little potential but it is smallish. I loved the open feel of the venue i want! (insert little bitch stomping feet and clenching fist here)
GRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! all of my quirky little decor touches fit so perfect at that stupid asshole venue. GOD! ALL of my D.I.Y. projects for in that bastard suck balls venue, worked so awesome. I don't want to be back at square one. Really I do not! WHY? Because square 1 for me is even harder than square 1 for an average bride. I have seen all the venues. Yes there are some beautiful venues here, but they are not "us". Now i have to get extra creative and find a venue that is not even a venue.
And the poor groom, he just says "as long as we get married that is all that matters." yes, in reality it is. BUT that is kind of like us being on vacation and him needing a haircut and me saying "as long as you get a haircut it will be fine. who cares how it looks." REALLY!?!? Wedding planning is what I do. My wedding is the ONE time I get to plan my own wedding. I get to use my ideas, my style, my everything. It does matter. Yes, once it is all said and done, us being married is the big deal. BUT until it is said and done, the wedding is the big deal too!
Well I am stopping the pouty little bitch fest and will wait until Nov,5 to hear for sure what the venue's fate is. I am not crossing my fingers though.
So come Nov, 5 I will be blogging either a HOORAY! Or I will be going off like nobodies business.