Things you will NOT see....

at our wedding..
So now that I have been engaged for going on 3 weeks.. ha.. I have heard this at least 50 times. "well since you are a wedding planner this will be easy for you. You probably already know what your wedding will be like."Ummmmm... that answer is a great big mother f'n NO!
Really the only advantage I have is that I know what vendors I will use. Yes, that is huge. I realize that many brides and boyz research vendors forever. So really that is my only "woo hoo I am a wedding planner" moment. I have seen the awesome and i have seen the god forsaken terrible shit.
I have not sat around since I was 4 planning my own wedding. I have other people's weddings to plan. Not mine. Vision... ummm nope.. Urban.. that is all.. But a comfy fun urban.. not a cold stiff wedding urban. Whatever......
So over the years I have seen some great weddings. AMAZING weddings. True reflections of the couple and their style. I have to say that I am GOOD, if not F'n AWESOME at getting a strange couple in my creative zone and nailing out their wedding in pretty much a day. I can do that.... I can figure out their style, their look, the entire wedding decor down to what they will wear in minimal time. BUT my wedding.. GRRRRRRRR.. I am at a big fat block. Got nothing! Not a single frickin' idea. How stupidly lame is that. Is all I can think of are the things that will not come within a mile of my wedding. I don't want to see them anywhere near my shit. so here is my list..

1. MONOGRAM.. I am monogramed to death. I don't want to see a f'n monogram anywhere within the vicinity of my wedding, reception, ride to wherever we go, ect... NO MONOGRAMS!
2. Monochromatic anything..
3. black with a pop of color .. F U pop of color
4. Candy bar
5. salad, meal, cake.. hmmm.. i dunno.. i am tired of it
6. cocktail hours are starting to irritate me, but I like the idea... need to work on this one.
7. Bachelorette parties. NO please!!!
8. any posed photos! NO WAY!
9. Aisle Runner.. god help me and that suck ass tape they put on those things. WTF.. do they think that shit works?
10. Traditional guest book or photo mat.  I do have a bad ass idea for this situation though.. Lips r sealed though.... ****cue demonic laughter****
11. a theme.. god damnit. I am so sick of hearing the word theme when the word wedding is mentioned. When i hear theme I think of kids birthday party. How about design, or style.. I like those words better.
12. favors.. GOD! google the words "wedding favor" you will see what I mean.
13. garter and bouquet toss, unless this is something the boi is dead set on doing. I would not like to do it.
14. any dance with the word money in it. Good Lord, really people get some class.
15. The title of being a "knottie" Since I am a vendor I guess that will never happen anyways but I am ever so glad.
16. White gown
17. Matchy McMatcherson brides maid dresses.. Nope
18. Cannon in D
19. Sucky wedding reception music
20. Seating chart. Please stop making these. They are a nightmare when you have more than 50 guest.

That is probably enough. Sorry to anyone doing these things at their wedding. I am a firm believer in your wedding should be a reflection of who you are as a couple. And these are the things we are not. That much i DO know. :)